Teacher Puns and School Jokes for the Classroom, Staff Room and Group Chat: 466 Lines

A teacher's work is never done, it's just collected, graded and returned with a sigh.

Teachers don't have a bad day, they have a pop quiz in the middle of it.

I'd call my lesson plan flexible, but that implies it ever stayed where I put it.

A good teacher can turn a rough draft into a polished diamond.

Teaching is the only job where the whiteboard marker dies first.

A teacher's coffee goes cold the way a lesson goes off-topic: slowly, then all at once.

Every teacher is a magician: they make time disappear right before the bell.

Teachers grade on a curve, but their patience grades on a cliff.

A good lesson has an introduction, a body, a conclusion and a fire drill somewhere in the middle.

The best teachers don't point to the answer, they point students toward the question.

My teacher says I have potential, which is a polite word for unfinished homework.

A substitute teacher is a lesson plan that learned to walk.

Teachers never really get a break, just a change of classroom.

Behind every great student is a teacher with a stack of ungraded papers.

A teacher's voice has three settings: inside, outside and hallway.

Teachers are the only people who can say one more thing and mean it thirty times.

Grade expectations.

Teach, repeat, caffeinate.

Lesson learned, coffee earned.

Plan A: caffeine.

Mark my words.

Teacher mode: always on.

Recess is the real lesson.

Learning curve ahead.

Write on.

Detention is not a vacation.

Staying on task, mostly.

Class dismissed, spirits lifted.

Chalk and talk.

Bell ringer, heart singer.

Eraser, please.

Pop quiz, pop culture.

Write on, teacher.

Chalk it up.

Grade A teacher.

Class act.

Bell to bell.

Lesson plan: coffee.

Mark it down.

Teacher's pet peeves.

Smarty pants.

Study hall hero.

Pencil me in.

Eraser of doubt.

Homeroom hero.

Class is in session.

I'm not saying my class is chatty, but the bell is the only thing that gets a word in.

My students asked if we're doing anything today. I said yes: breathing, and then math.

The more I plan, the more the class improvises.

I told my class to think outside the box, and now they're in the hallway.

I'm not yelling, I'm projecting with passion.

My classroom has two kinds of students: those who are listening and those who are listening.

I asked for silence and got a very dramatic whisper.

Teachers can't have favorites, but we absolutely have favorite markers.

I grade papers the way I do laundry: in piles, with regret and a lot of sorting.

My seating chart has more drama than a soap opera.

A teacher's sixth sense is knowing exactly who is passing the note.

A good teacher's secret power is knowing which pen will die first.

Every teacher keeps a snack stash for the students and a bigger one for themselves.

The only thing smaller than my classroom budget is my free time.

I told my students the test would be easy, and now I'm the one sweating.

My lesson on patience went great, I'm still waiting for them to learn it.

Why did the teacher bring a ladder to class? She wanted to raise the bar.

What did the ruler say to the teacher? You always measure up.

Why did the teacher give the clock extra credit? It always arrived on time.

Why do teachers love bulletin boards? They're a great way to pin down ideas.

Why do whiteboards make great friends? They always let you start fresh.

Why was the stapler the best teacher's assistant? It always held things together.

What did the eraser say to the pencil? You make mistakes, I make them disappear.

Why did the teacher wear a red pen to the party? She couldn't resist making corrections.

Why did the substitute bring a mirror? She wanted to reflect on the day.

Why did the teacher draw a circle on the board? She wanted to come full circle.

Why did the student bring a ladder to the lecture? He heard the lesson was over his head.

Why did the teacher put the plant on her desk? It was the only student that grew.

Why did the book go to the teachers' conference? It wanted to turn over a new leaf.

Why did the pencil sharpener get promoted? It had a point.

Why did the projector get a raise? It always knew how to put things in perspective.

What do you call a teacher who never gives homework? A rare edition.

Why was the glue stick the favorite? It really knew how to stick with a lesson.

Why did the globe get an A? It had a worldly outlook.

Why was the calculator so calm? It had everything figured out.

What do teachers drink during exam week? Anything with a refill and a prayer.

Ready to teach: caffeinated and slightly caffeinated.

First day, fresh markers.

Classroom tour: where the magic and the glitter live.

Desk decorated, nerves hidden.

Teacher mode: on. Coffee: loading.

Fresh start, fresh bulletin board.

My happy place has twenty-five desks.

Lesson plans laminated, hopes high.

Making a difference, one worksheet at a time.

Chalk on my sleeve, joy in my heart.

Back at it with sharpened pencils and sharpened wit.

Staff meeting survivor, badge earned.

Classroom decor: 10 percent planning, 90 percent glitter.

Ready to teach, ready to learn, ready for lunch.

Sunday scaries, Monday lessons.

Another day, another dry-erase miracle.

Thanks for helping my brain pass its growth chart.

Thanks for teaching me that I don't know is the start of a good answer.

You make learning stick better than glue.

I'd say you're the best, but my grammar says better is more accurate.

You're my favorite teacher, and not just because you accept late jokes.

Thanks for grading my effort, even when the answers needed work.

You turned my I can't into I can't wait.

Your class is the only place where being corrected feels like a compliment.

Teacher, you're a lifesaver, and I mean that in an A-plus way.

Thanks for believing in me, even when my homework didn't.

You prove that a good teacher makes every subject cool.

Your lessons are so good the clock slows down to listen.

I may not remember every formula, but I'll always remember your class.

You taught me to ask why before I ask when it's due.

Teachers have the best sense of humor, they survive on coffee, glue sticks and optimism.

A teacher's biggest secret: they also can't wait for the weekend.

Teachers have eyes in the back of their heads and ears in the hallway.

You know you're a teacher when you count heads at the grocery store.

You know you're a teacher when you've said walking feet to an adult.

You know you're a teacher when you own more markers than a graffiti artist and fewer that work.

The best teachers have the patience of a saint and the laminator of a boss.

Teachers are the only people who explain quiet to a room recovering from lunch.

A teacher's day goes: plan, panic, teach, laugh, repeat.

Nobody understands copy machine rage like a teacher at 7:55 a.m.

A teacher's best friend is whoever fixes the printer.

The teachers' lounge is the only place where one cup of coffee can start a revolution.

Teachers can spot the one student whispering in a room of thirty without looking.

A teacher's summer is the world's most expensive research project: you spend it planning next year.

The most dangerous words in education: this meeting could have been an email.

Report card season is spreadsheet season with feelings.

I'm not saying grading is hard, but I've started naming my red pens.

A teacher's idea of a wild weekend is sleeping past six a.m.

Parent emails come in two sizes: quick question and novel in the making.

The copier jams only when you're in a hurry, which is its entire personality.

Professional development day: because nothing says relaxing like a gym, a lanyard and a slideshow.

Teachers drink coffee in shifts, like a very caffeinated security detail.

I told my doctor I'm tired and she asked if I teach. How did she know?

A teacher's sick day requires more planning than a space mission.

Lesson plans are just fiction with learning objectives.

The staff room fridge is a lawless land where yogurt is currency.

If teachers ran the world, every meeting would end with a bell.

A teacher's retirement plan: a quiet house and a drawer full of dead markers.

My whiteboard is so dirty it has a history all its own.

Dirty erasers are the unsung secret of every classroom's dust cloud.

I'd clean the chalkboard, but the dust seems to prefer my sleeve.

The only dirt in my classroom is on the chalkboard, and half of it is smudged lesson plans.

The marker was so dry it couldn't say anything clean.

A dirty look from a teacher can silence a gym, no words required.

Messy desks hide secrets, mostly crumbs and old worksheets.

The classroom floor has seen it all: spilled glitter, dropped lunches and the occasional rogue worksheet.

Chalk dust gets everywhere, including my good black pants.

There's no such thing as a clean glue stick after craft Friday.

Recess mud is the original dirty secret of every lesson plan.

The lost-and-found is where dirty socks go to be reunited.

A teacher's idea of a dirty joke is a messy bulletin board.

My hands are dirty from a lifetime of dry-erase and good intentions.

I'd call it a cry for help, but the copier is already using that spot.

We teach the future, and the future leaves gum under the desks.

The only inappropriate thing I said all week was no, you can't go to the bathroom during the test.

My patience is like the school Wi-Fi: strong in the morning and a wreck by lunch.

I don't have favorite students, but I do have favorite kinds of silence.

We're not underpaid, we're just generous with our time, our supplies and our wallets.

If I had a dollar for every is this graded, I could finally afford my own supplies.

Teachers go through more tissues in a day than a drama department on opening night.

The staff meeting started with a smile and ended with 47 new action items.

Being a teacher means saying put that down to an adult and a class hamster in the same day.

My dream classroom has a snooze button for the bell.

Teachers are always the first to know and the last to be thanked.

I teach middle school, which means I spend my day with thirty tiny people who just discovered sarcasm and haven't learned to use it yet.

People say teaching is a calling. It is, mostly from the front office, three times a day, asking if I filled out the form.

My new shoes looked like they'd run a marathon by Friday, and I never left the hallway.

My students asked why I'm so tired. I said, imagine fifty questions every minute, and one of them is whether I like cats.

Teachers don't take sick days because the sub plans take longer than the lesson.

I once spent forty minutes making a worksheet. A student turned it into a paper airplane in four seconds. Honestly, great engineering.

Every teacher owns a mug that says World's Okayest Teacher, and by Friday the okay part feels generous.

Parent-teacher night is just speed dating, except everyone talks about homework and nobody buys dinner.

I told my class we'd have a pop quiz. Half asked for a pop. The other half asked what a quiz was. We're making progress.

I love when a student says the dog ate it. I've met the dog. He's very sorry.

Substitute teachers are heroes: they walk into a room where nobody knows the rules and leave with their dignity and a sticky note.

Teachers are great at multitasking. Right now I'm teaching, grading, supervising a spill and wondering what to eat, all in one breath.

Teacher voice is a real thing. It starts in the throat and ends in a forty-foot radius.

I asked my class to take out a pencil and half of them took out a personality.

Teacher: Use definitely in a sentence. Student: Definitely not today.

Teacher: What's a synonym for brave? Student: Someone who forgot the test was today.

Teacher: Name a pronoun. Student: Mine, and I'm not sharing the homework.

Teacher: Use homophone in a sentence. Student: There, their, they're all confusing me.

Teacher: Can you spell necessary? Student: It's not necessary, I use spellcheck.

Teacher: What's an oxymoron? Student: A silent classroom.

Teacher: Give me a sentence with ironic. Student: It's ironic that the clock moves slowest during the test.

Teacher: What's the past tense of teach? Student: Taught, and I wish I'd been listening.

Teacher: Is a lot one word? Student: Only when I say a lot of homework.

Teacher: Who can tell me what a noun is? Student: A word that's going to be on the test.

Teacher: Define conjunction. Student: It's where grammar and I meet and argue.

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: I got stuck in a run-on sentence on the way here.

Teacher: Capitalize i love english. Student: I Love English. Teacher: Great! Student: Can I have extra credit for effort?

Teacher: What's the difference between affect and effect? Student: One is my grade, the other is my reaction.

Thanks for being the teacher who turned I can't into I did.

You're not just a teacher, you're the reason the whole class has an A in life.

Thank you for helping me grow, and for not grading my sarcasm.

Teachers like you are one in a million, and the rest of us are still counting.

Thank you for always going the extra mile, and the extra credit.

You make learning stick better than any glue.

Your kindness is the best lesson I never saw coming.

Teachers are the real superheroes: no capes, just lanyards and laminators.

Thank you for planting the seeds of knowledge and never complaining about the weeds.

You taught me so much, and you didn't even charge for the extra help.

We're grateful you're the best at what you do, and we mean it with all our class.

You're the teacher I'll remember when I grow up and the one I'll thank when I get there.

Thank you for your patience, your passion and your emergency snack drawer.

Thanks for being the teacher who makes Monday worth it.

Teaching is the profession that creates all the others, and you're doing it brilliantly.

You prove that the best lessons don't come from textbooks.

Coffee mug: Thank you for being the best blend of patience and wisdom.

Pens: Thanks for helping us find our write path.

Plant: Thank you for helping us grow.

Candle: You light up our classroom.

Hand sanitizer: You really know how to wipe out confusion.

Highlighter: You make every lesson stand out.

Sticky notes: Thanks for always sticking with us.

Gift card: Thanks for all the extra credit, now here's some for you.

Tote bag: Thanks for carrying us all year.

Chocolate: You're the sweetest teacher in the school.

Tea: Thank you for being our cup of calm.

Succulent: Thanks for thriving on so little water and so much patience.

Notebook: You've filled our pages with great memories.

Apple: You're the pick of the whole orchard.

Back to school: because summer was just a long recess.

New year, new notebooks, same old bell.

Sharpen your pencils and your attitude, class is in session.

The first day of school is a pop quiz on remembering your locker combination.

Back-to-school shopping is the only time I enjoy buying a pencil.

Backpacks are packed, snacks are stashed, nerves are also packed.

It's the most wonderful time of the year, mostly because of the new markers.

Summer break is over, but the learning has just begun.

Back to school is when what did you do this summer becomes a writing assignment.

The first week back is a lot of syllabus and a lot of snacks.

The bus is on its way, and so is the morning rush.

My supplies are organized, my lesson plan is laminated, my expectations are low.

Fresh start, fresh pencils, same old wake-up time.

The best part of going back to school is seeing friends, even the ones who forgot their locker combos.

The hallways are back, and so are the traffic jams.

Back to school means back to routine, and a tiny bit of dread.

School is the only place where being tardy is a crime and being early is a miracle.

The cafeteria is where sandwiches go to trade and rumors go to grow.

The school bell is the only alarm clock that both ends and starts the fun.

Lockers are small, mysterious rooms where homework goes to disappear.

A school bus is a yellow submarine for the morning commute.

The school library is a quiet place where books whisper and shushing is a language.

Detention is the only class where you learn to wait.

School spirit is just enthusiasm in a school-colored hoodie.

Hall passes are the golden tickets of the school day.

The hallway is a river, and the bell is the tide.

A school field trip is a day off in a very organized disguise.

Recess is the only subject everybody aces.

The principal's office is the only room with a really stern welcome mat.

School pictures prove that everyone has a bad hair day at least once a year.

Gym class is where you learn that the dodgeball is the real teacher.

The lunch line is the only place where patience pays off in tater tots.

Students are like pencils: they need a sharp mind and a good eraser.

A student's best friend is a deadline that moves.

A student's backpack is a bag of mystery, snacks and one lost permission slip.

Students come in two types: those who read the instructions and those who read them afterward.

A good student asks questions, a great student asks them before the test.

Students and sleep have a long-distance relationship, and morning is the bad connection.

Study hall is where studying and napping have a staring contest.

Students say I'm almost done the way forecasters say sunny.

A student's brain is like a browser: ten tabs open and one of them is playing music.

Pop quizzes teach students to be spontaneous, and also to pray.

The only quiet student is the one sitting next to the window.

Homework is the only thing students and the dog's mouth have in common.

Math teachers always have problems, but they know how to solve them.

A math teacher's love language is solving for you.

Math teachers don't age, they just get more angular.

A math teacher's favorite dessert is pi, because it's irrational and delicious.

Math teachers are never alone, they always have a plus one.

I told my math teacher I was late because of a bus problem. He said solve for x.

Math teachers love a good tangent, just not in class.

Math teachers know the secret to a good relationship: common denominators.

A math teacher's best advice: don't let anyone divide you.

Math teachers say show your work, and now I wish my life came with receipts.

A math teacher never sits still, they have to keep the graph moving.

Math teachers are always on the right angle, even when the class isn't.

English teachers don't get angry, they just write you off with a semicolon.

An English teacher's favorite exercise is running through a paragraph.

English teachers are always in a good mood, they have so many good adjectives.

English teachers believe in second chances, mostly because of the second draft.

A great English teacher knows that every sentence deserves a happy ending, or at least a period.

English teachers don't gossip, they share a very long story with a theme.

English teachers are literally the best, and figuratively the best too.

An English teacher's greatest fear is a missing comma, and a close second is a misplaced apostrophe.

English teachers are well-read, and well-red from all the correcting.

English teachers always know how to end the lesson: with a strong conclusion and a weak joke.

When English teachers are tired, they say let's wrap this up with a metaphor.

An English teacher at a party is just a proofreader with a plate of snacks.

Science teachers are always in reaction mode, whether it's chemistry or the Friday afternoon bell.

Science teachers love rock music, especially igneous.

Science teachers are very well-grounded, mostly because of gravity.

Biology teachers get the cells, even when the class doesn't.

A physics teacher's favorite classroom activity is keeping things in motion.

Chemistry teachers have great chemistry with their lab partners and a few spare safety goggles.

Science teachers know a good experiment needs a hypothesis, a variable and a snack.

A science teacher's best advice: don't mix your lunch with the lab.

Science teachers measure success in grams, volts and the occasional gasp.

Earth science teachers never take things for granite.

A science teacher's patience is a constant: it rarely changes, but it can be tested.

A science teacher is never bored, just waiting for the next reaction.

History teachers are always living in the past, and they're happy about it.

A history teacher's favorite exercise is going through a timeline.

History teachers never get old, they just become artifacts.

A history teacher's best joke is one that's been around for centuries.

History teachers take the past seriously, but not themselves.

A geography teacher's life is full of ups and downs, mostly elevation.

Geography teachers always know their way around a classroom and a continent.

A geography teacher's favorite game is anything with a good map and a good lead.

History teachers believe in second chances, but only in a footnote.

Social studies teachers know how to make a lesson stick, especially with dates.

A history teacher's favorite dessert is anything with a good layer of time.

Geography teachers are always on the map, even when the bell says go.

Art teachers always draw the line at glitter, and then give in.

An art teacher's favorite exercise is sketching out a plan, then ignoring it.

Art teachers know how to make a masterpiece out of a mess.

Art teachers are great at framing a situation.

Music teachers are always in tune with their students and out of patience with the recorders.

A music teacher's favorite number is the one in the time signature.

Music teachers can always find a solution, they just need to harmonize.

PE teachers never run out of steam, only out of whistles.

A PE teacher's favorite number is twenty laps.

PE teachers always have a ball, and sometimes it gets dodged.

PE teachers don't get tired, they just take a long timeout.

PE teachers are the only ones who end a lesson with a whistle and a water break.

Art, music and PE are the classes that prove school can be fun.

Music teachers have a lot of good notes, and a few about the recorders.

Kindergarten teachers have the toughest job: herding glitter, juice boxes and tiny opinions.

A preschool teacher's superpower is tying the same shoe seventeen times before lunch.

Kindergarten is the only place where the scissors are safe and the glue is not.

Preschool teachers solve a snack crisis and a nap negotiation at the same time.

Little learners are like sponges, mostly because they soak up everything including juice.

Nothing says patience like a preschool teacher and a lost mitten.

Circle time is a very short talk show with a lot of audience participation.

A kindergarten teacher is a gardener of little minds.

Kindergarten teachers speak fluent crayon.

In kindergarten, a rainbow is just a good reason to use every color at once.

Preschool teachers can read minds, mostly the ones that want a snack.

A kindergarten teacher's favorite game is quiet time, and she always wins.

A pencil is a stick with big dreams and a very short career.

An eraser is the only tool that makes mistakes feel like fresh starts.

A stapler is a teacher's best assistant: it holds everything together.

Glue sticks are the unsung heroes of classroom crafts.

A highlighter is the only marker praised for coloring outside the lines.

Scissors are a teacher's way of saying cut it out without raising their voice.

A ruler always measures up, even on a Monday.

A whiteboard marker has the shortest lifespan of any classroom hero.

Sticky notes are the only notes teachers don't mind being passed around.

A laminator is a teacher's version of a time machine: it makes things last.

The pencil sharpener is the only place where being pointed is a compliment.

A binder is just paper that has decided to stick together.

Parent-teacher conferences are just a group chat where we all agree the kid is great.

The best conferences start with a smile and end with a snack.

A good conference is a meeting where both sides say we're on the same team and mean it.

Teachers and parents have one big thing in common: a lot of coffee.

Conference night is speed dating with report cards.

At conferences, the tiny chairs are the toughest test.

Parents ask how is my child doing, and teachers answer let me tell you a story.

A good conference is like a good lesson: it starts with a hook and ends with a plan.

Sitting in a student's chair at conferences is a lesson in humility.

Parent-teacher communication is a two-way street, mostly under construction.

Conference night means more handshakes than a politician and more notes than a pianist.

Teachers and parents make the best team and the best snack committee.

Substitute teachers are the only people who get a standing ovation for just showing up.

Substitute teachers are the brave explorers of the classroom frontier.

A substitute's favorite words: the regular teacher left a note.

A sub plan is a treasure map where X marks the lesson.

Hall monitors are the tiny traffic cops of the school corridor.

A hall pass is the golden ticket to a three-minute vacation.

The substitute asked for a volunteer and the whole class suddenly remembered how to look at the floor.

Subs have the toughest gig: a new room every day and the same confusion.

Hall passes prove a piece of wood can get you out of anything.

A good sub leaves the room the way they found it, and the students slightly more confused.

Happy birthday to the teacher who deserves an A-plus and a nap.

Another year older, but you're still the smartest in the class.

May your birthday be graded on a curve of cake.

You've earned this day off, and the extra frosting.

Wishing you a birthday with no homework and a lot of cake.

Happy birthday to the teacher who never needs a bell to make us listen.

You're not older, you're just further along in the lesson plan.

Hope your birthday has more candles than your classroom has glitter.

Class is dismissed for cake, and everyone's invited.

Happy birthday to our favorite teacher: always on time and never on break.

May your birthday be as bright as your whiteboard markers before they dry out.

Today you get the day off from the lecture and a standing ovation for being you.

Last day of school: the only bell that rings like a victory song.

Summer break is a teacher's version of a pay raise.

End of the year means cleaning the classroom and finding a pencil from 2019.

I'm not crying, I just have chalk dust in my eye.

Final grades are in, and the countdown to summer is on.

The last week of school is just very organized chaos.

Retirement is the only time a teacher gets to say class dismissed and mean it forever.

You taught for years, now enjoy the years without a bell.

Congratulations on retirement, the only exam you'll never have to take again.

Retired teachers don't stop teaching, they just change classrooms to the whole world.

Summer break is when teachers recharge and pretend not to think about next year.

Graduation day is when teachers pretend they aren't emotional and cry in the parking lot.

Riddle: I have a spine but no bones, and pages but no body. What am I? A textbook.

Riddle: I make mistakes disappear. What am I? An eraser.

Riddle: I have hands but can't clap, and a face but can't smile. I tell you when class ends. What am I? A clock.

Riddle: I'm full of problems but never ask for help. What am I? A math book.

Riddle: I have a point but never an opinion. What am I? A pencil.

Riddle: I ring but I'm not a phone, and everyone runs when I do. What am I? The school bell.

Riddle: I'm black or green, but I never stop teaching. What am I? A chalkboard.

Knock knock. Who's there? Class. Class who? Class is in session, let me in.

Knock knock. Who's there? Chalk. Chalk who? Chalk-ing you at the door.

Knock knock. Who's there? Grade. Grade who? Grade to see you, can I come in?

Knock knock. Who's there? Lesson. Lesson who? Lesson up, I'm knocking.

Knock knock. Who's there? Homework. Homework who? Homework-ing so hard to reach you.

Knock knock. Who's there? Bell. Bell who? Bell-ieve it or not, I'm still here.

Knock knock. Who's there? Recess. Recess who? Recess-ary to open the door.

Professor Pun-derful

Sir Grades-a-Lot

Chalk Star

Captain Curriculum

Lady Lesson Plan

The Homework Whisperer

Doctor Dry-Erase

The Red Pen Ranger

Master of Class Control

The Bell Boss

The Apple Whisperer

The Learning Ninja

The Class Clown Wrangler

Mr. or Ms. Always Right (Kindly)

Teachers: because everyone needs a little guidance and a lot of coffee.

I teach, therefore I'm tired.

Keep calm and teach on.

Teachers plant the seeds that grow the future.

Teaching is a work of heart, and a lot of laminating.

Teachers don't give up, they give extra time.

Teaching: where every day is a lesson, and every lesson has a surprise.

Teachers: because because I said so needs a better explanation.

Behind every successful student is a teacher who refused to quit.

Teachers know that a bad day can still end with a good lesson.

Teachers make the world a better classroom.

Teachers do it with a lot of patience and a little glitter.

A teacher's work is never done, but their coffee often is.

Class is in session, and so is the coffee.

Teacher, I'd tell you a joke about homework, but I haven't finished it yet.

Teacher, I'm not late, I'm fashionably tardy with a purpose.

I finished my homework, it's just on a very exclusive piece of paper.

I'd love to sit in front, but I'm allergic to the spotlight and the pop quiz.

Teacher, you're like a pencil: you always have my back, even when I make mistakes.

Teacher, I tried to turn in my homework, but my dog filed a competing claim.

Our class is so quiet today it's practically a library, and I'm one cough away from being the librarian.

Teacher, I'm just asking, does extra credit come with extra snacks?

Teacher, if you're the sun of this class, we're all orbiting your lessons.

Teacher, I'd say you're the best, but I'm saving greatest for report card day.

May I be excused? My brain is full.

Teacher, my notes are so organized I can barely find them.

Why did the student eat his notes? He wanted to digest the lesson.

Why did the clock get detention? It kept ticking everyone off.

Why did the student bring a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school.

What did the paper say to the pencil? Write on.

Why was the pair of scissors so popular? It always knew how to cut to the chase.

Why did the student cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

Why was the library so quiet? Everyone was checking out the silence.

Why did the notebook sit up front? It wanted to be on the first page.

What did the ruler say to the pencil? You're drawing the line.

Why did the globe get promoted? It was well-rounded and well-traveled.

Why did the student draw on the calendar? He wanted to mark his days off.

Why did the gym teacher bring a clock? She wanted to keep track of recess.