Man City Jokes (2026): 155+ Funny, Friendly Banter Lines, Chants and Nicknames

Man City have two nicknames. One is Citizens. The other is "Please don't ask about the banana."

Citizens of the pitch, unite!

The Sky Blues are the only team whose kit is also the weather forecast in Manchester. Sometimes.

Cityzens with a "Z" is the only thing at the club that's trying to be extra.

I asked a City fan what he does for a living. He said, "Citizen." I said, "No, your job." He said, "Citizen."

The club motto is Pride in Battle. The fans' motto is "Where is my banana?"

What do you call a City fan on a bus? A commuting Citizen.

My mate calls himself a Sky Blue. He is just a bit chilly.

The kit is the color of the sky, the sea and my sofa after a win. I own three of them.

Blue is the color of the sky, the sea and my sofa after City win.

A City supporter is easy to spot. He's the one saying "The gaffer knows" about everything, including the weather.

City began in 1880 as a church team, St. Mark's. Supporters have needed faith ever since.

The club changed its name from Ardwick to Manchester City in 1894. Scarf makers have been grateful ever since.

Maine Road was City's home for 80 years. Granddads still give directions to it.

City moved from Maine Road to the Etihad in 2003. Some fans are still looking for their old seat.

Why did City move house in 2003? They needed more room for the bananas.

Moonchester and Moonbeam are City's mascots. They're the only two at the ground who never complain about parking.

My granddad still calls the Etihad "the new ground." It opened in 2003.

"Typical City" is what fans say when something goes oddly wrong. It's the club's unofficial weather report.

The 1999 play-off final against Gillingham went to penalties. Fans who were there still haven't sat down properly.

Every City fan over 40 has a story that starts, "I was at Maine Road when..."

City fans from the 1998-99 third-tier season say they were there before it was cool. Mostly, they were there when it was cold.

What's a City fan's favorite kind of history lesson? One with a happy ending in added time.

Moonchester looks like he arrived by spaceship, yet he still knows the quickest bus route to the ground.

I love Man City. Which is a nice way of saying my weekends belong to the fixture list.

My team talk is simple: pass, pass, pass, goal. Some call it a plan. I call it Tuesday.

A City fan never says "I'm bored." He says "I'm playing the long game."

The best way to annoy a City fan is to say, "Nice pass." He'll say, "That was just the first of 47."

Match day: the only day when "ninety minutes" feels like a short time.

Our weather is always perfect for football. By perfect, I mean wet, cold and wonderful.

The fixture list came out. My calendar threw up its hands.

Why did the football team visit the bank? To get their balance back.

There's no such thing as a boring 0-0. Only a football match with extra suspense.

If you want to know the score, ask a City fan. If you want to know the passes, ask Pep.

My scarf has been to more games than my own family.

My matchday routine: same scarf, same seat, same nervous pie.

Team news is the only news I refresh more than the weather.

I set three alarms for a 12:30 kick-off. Football is the only thing I'm early for.

The walk to the stadium is the best part of the week, until the first goal.

Bananas are the only fruit that can be seen from the back of the stand.

If you've ever wondered who sold the first inflatable banana, it was a very a-peeling idea.

At City, an inflatable banana is just a hug that never deflates.

Why did the banana go to the match? It wanted to see some top-peel football.

Other stands have drums. Ours have a six-foot banana.

Why do City fans love bananas? They go bananas for a good win.

Every stand needs a mascot. Ours is yellow, tall and doesn't need a ticket.

The stewards checked my bag. All they found was a banana, a scarf and a lot of hope.

The banana has good manners. It always splits when the game is over.

A banana at a football match is the happiest piece of fruit alive.

I tried to take my inflatable banana on the train. The train said, "Yes, but only if it's standing."

The Poznan is the only dance where you turn your back to the action and still win the match.

Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone. Then 50,000 friends joined me.

You haven't lived until you've done the Poznan with a stranger in a hat.

The Poznan is a dance with one rule: no one is allowed to watch where they're going.

Blue Moon is the only song where "without a dream in my heart" still sounds happy.

What did the moon say to the football fan? "You're out of this world."

When 50,000 fans sing the same song, even the pigeons hum.

At City we don't have a quiet stand. We have a "building up the volume" stand.

Half-time pie rule: it's either lava hot or ice cold. There is no middle.

What do you call a nervous meat pie? A mince-ing wreck.

The half-time queue is the longest run of the day, and nobody even scores.

Half-time tea in Manchester is less a drink and more a hand warmer.

I missed a goal because I was in the pie queue. Now I eat before the match, like a professional.

Sharing chips with a stranger in the stands is the start of a beautiful friendship.

My mate checks the half-time score, the pie price and the weather, in that order.

What's a football fan's favorite pie? One that gets plenty of extra time in the oven.

Half-time lasts fifteen minutes. The toilet queue lasts sixteen.

The dressing room team talk is about tactics. The concourse team talk is about gravy.

I bought a hot drink at half-time. By the second half it was a cold drink with ambitions.

Half-time at a family match means one pie, three forks and a lot of crumbs.

A United fan and a City fan walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm neutral." They both ask for a recount.

The Manchester derby is the only game where both sides think they've won by half-time.

United have the Red Devils. City have the Sky Blues. Between them, it's a very colorful Sunday.

There's an old saying in Manchester: if it rains, the match is on. If it's sunny, the match is also on.

Why did the City fan bring a spare phone to the derby? So he could keep the group chat going.

Added time is the only part of a derby that both sets of fans think is too long.

A Liverpool fan told me, "You'll never walk alone." I said, "Great, I'll bring the banana."

At the Manchester derby, the only unbeaten team is the one that sells the scarves.

My granddad supports United. I support City. We both support dinner.

My United friend said, "We'll meet in the middle." The middle was a local cafe, with a tea and a long table.

The best derby is the one where the loser still helps carry the chairs.

My United mate and I share a car to the derby. We don't share the radio.

Derby day in Manchester: half the city in red, half in blue, everyone in a coat.

The derby is the only match where my mum asks the score before she asks how I am.

A Manchester derby lasts ninety minutes. The banter lasts until the next one.

Away days are 90 minutes of football and six hours of motorway services.

Why do away fans sing so loudly? They want to be sure home can hear them.

The away end is always in the corner, in the wind and next to a pillar. We love it anyway.

Away fans are a family on wheels. The coach smells like crisps and hope.

I packed for an away day: scarf, coat, snacks, coat, another coat.

An away win tastes better, especially after a service station sandwich.

Our coach driver knows every word to Blue Moon. He has never been to a game.

My away-day playlist is the same chant on repeat.

What's an away fan's favorite map? One with a big blue dot on the stadium.

Away-day breakfast is a bacon roll at 6 a.m. and a strong opinion about the lineup.

You learn a lot on an away trip, mostly the names of strangers who share their crisps.

We lost away once and got home at 2 a.m. The banter lasted until 3.

A City pass is like a family reunion. Everyone touches the ball and nobody wants to leave.

The false nine is a striker who isn't a striker. It's like a spoiler who isn't a spoiler.

We keep the ball so well, the other team asked for a loan.

City's tactics board looks like a subway map. And just as confusing.

Possession is nine-tenths of the law. The other tenth is a throw-in.

A short pass is a friendly hello. A long pass is a very good letter.

The coach asked for one more pass. The captain said, "We've already got nineteen."

Tactics 101: if you can't score, pass. If you still can't score, pass again.

Why was the midfield so calm? It always kept its composure and the ball.

City's passing triangles are the only geometry I've ever enjoyed.

They say football is a simple game. The tactics board begs to differ.

If football were a book, City would be the one with a lot of chapters, and every one is about passing.

City fans know the game isn't over until the clock reads 93:20.

In 2012, City won the league in stoppage time. Since then, the car park stays empty until the final whistle.

My dad left the 2012 QPR match early to beat the traffic. He's been beating himself up ever since.

Why do City fans love added time? It's when the magic happens.

The fourth official holds up the added-time board, and 50,000 hearts hold their breath.

A late winner makes strangers hug like old friends.

I don't check my watch during a City match. My heart rate tells me the time.

Added time is football's way of saying, "Just one more thing before you go."

My nan only watches the last five minutes. She says that's where the stories are.

"Typical City" can mean a late collapse or a late miracle. Fans just wait to find out which.

What do City fans call the second half? The plot twist.

My season ticket includes 90 minutes of football and five minutes of not breathing.

City hit 100 points in 2017-18. Fans called the team the Centurions, and history teachers got very excited.

A treble means three trophies. City fans now count in threes, even at the shops.

City won four league titles in a row. My trophy shelf at home is jealous, and it only holds a bowling medal.

Why did the trophy cabinet join a gym? It needed to handle more weight.

The parade bus had more fans than seats and more confetti than sense.

Every young fan dreams of lifting a cup. Most practice with a cereal bowl.

My cousin polishes his replica trophy every Sunday. The real ones have staff for that.

In 2023, City won the league, the FA Cup and the Champions League. Fans needed a bigger fridge for the celebration snacks.

I tried counting City's trophies on my fingers. I ran out and borrowed my brother's hands.

What do you call a trophy that tells jokes? A cup of laughs.

Between 1976 and 2011, City didn't win a major trophy. Older fans still dust the cabinet out of habit.

A trophy lasts forever. The photo of your dad crying at the final lasts even longer.

Why did the football go to the doctor? It was feeling a bit deflated.

What's a goalkeeper's favorite snack? Cross-bar chocolate.

Why do stadiums never get lonely? They have 50,000 friends round on a Saturday.

Why did the striker bring a pencil? He wanted to draw the game.

The best goal is the one your little brother celebrates by running in circles.

My dog supports City. He just likes to chase the ball.

What do you call a team that plays in a flood? Water-polo.

A goal is a sentence that ends with a bang.

At full time, the fans clap. At home time, the dads sleep.

The ref blew the whistle. The dog barked. We all learned something.

Why was the goalkeeper so good at parties? He never let anything get past him.

Why did the corner flag get a medal? It always stood its ground.

My little cousin's first football chant was "Goal!" She shouts it at every bus.

Why are wingers good bakers? They always put in a good cross.

Blue skies, blue scarf, Blue Moon.

Caption: Voice gone. Heart full. Train delayed.

Matchday with my favorite Citizen.

Card text: You're the sky to my blue.

Caption: Came for the football, stayed for the banana.

Proud Citizen, rain or shine. Mostly rain.

Birthday card: Another year older, still singing Blue Moon off-key.

Mug text: Superbia in Proelio. But coffee first.

Caption: Sang every word. Knew about half of them.

First match, first scarf, first Blue Moon. A Citizen is born.

Gift tag: For a fan who's always over the moon.

Caption: Post-match analysis: we won, I'm hoarse, the pie was hot.